I’ve been watching so much Californication my eyesight has deteriorated. Hope it’s temporary 
Have had a super lazy week. Got a few things done at home though. Still – staying put to watch Hank Moody fuck his way through life, that isn’t acceptable. Last night was a dnb thing and I was invited out by Romain’s group though he’s not even here (I really ought to be going no matter what a la Jim Carrey in The Yes Man).
Quite regressive. But.. I’m angry. Angry that I’ve pulled out money from my savings. Angry that the heat blasts out any motivation to run outdoors. Angry with my shitty self. One can’t partying carrying a black mood like that.
Annoying false alarm for a flight on Tuesday, getting ready in a crazy flurry for a flight that cancelled again before I left the apartment. It was only to Riyadh again, but I really wanted to go. It’s really not the most amazing time to be in Dubai now.
I am continually checking with Ops and people from the office on Skype about flights. Doesn’t seem like there’s anything scheduled. It’s almost August! What ever has happened to my dreamy European flying work holiday? :/
I don’t feel enthusiastic about this last weekend before Ramadan anymore.
This BSc of Global Social Science, at a campus a few minutes from my place. A private pilot license. Everything is 2-3 years and many, many hours. I can’t trust myself to commit. And everything is expensive. I have trouble considering an annual gym membership even! Who knows where I’ll be or what’ll be happening a year from now right?! 2012, I mean woa. Haven’t even finished this fluffy IATA diploma because the last exam was scheduled exactly when I was changing jobs and countries back in April. It’s all so pathetic.
I’m taking the easy way out? Just like that Westlife song? I’m 25 soon – major ooof. These are the years I’m to spend in the middle east? What of Western or Northern Europe? Soaking up the developed, creative, democratic, gender-balanced social norms of Scandinavia. Many many tall blonde people. Returning to my formative years by the way of cold weather.
I can stay in Dubai for 40 days free on a visitor visa. I appreciate this. I can stay in Europe for 90 days however.
I know with certainty that I’m not going anywhere. I am building something here and there is no way I am letting go. But the wonder, and the puzzle, is always present.
