Strength or Lack Thereof
Today was spent lolling, recovering from a woozy post-shot state, and getting someone to come and clean the apartment. Waiting for Secret Diary of a Call Girl to start. TV is weak, but ohsogood! There, I admit it! Highlight of my night, totally. Love the humour, the glamour, the sex. The ho fantasy is always fun, tehe. But in particular it’s the anonymity factor the show portrays, that you can only get from big-city living.
I really miss it!
Speaking of whores. Night out last night. Basel kept buying shots for the table, I had four in probably as many minutes. So that’s my explanation. Instead of crashing out as usual he was just down there somehow, all of a sudden. I think I feel bad that I don’t feel bad. Have to ask myself, am I possibly becoming a little too free-flowing. Morally bankrupt is too harsh a phrase, but I identify with the word ‘flimsy’ well. I ought to move to Europe, she’d be glorious, no? The Middle East has his thumbs on my temples; wrists pinned behind my back. Regional personification, there it is.
I made my treadmill goal, 10kmin one hour, so you can’t accuse me of being a complete underachiever. I have inspirations! 
But really, I love the feeling of really pelting it out. Running is the ultimate feel-good. Well, one of a few 
The last thing in the world I feel like doing is re-training, which is what I have first thing tomorrow and the day after. Then..an entire week off, more annual leave. Super time surplus, which is an odd thing to note, because it’s already, unbelievably, over halfway through the year and it’s kind of like..New Year was here and then I skip around a corner and poof-bang-pop.. there’s July.
Anyway. Haven’t heard from a certain someone, probably won’t ever again. Yawn, does he realize what fucking cliche he’s being by not calling me? Really, it’s entirely laughable in its predictability. He’s just not that into me.
Another Ibiza trip was brought to my attention last night. I’m so game for it, especially because it’s all organized and fully going ahead. And there were lots of particular, ah, key words points that very much piqued my interest. And of course, the general idea of clubbing and hotels and huge houses and big groups of people and drugs and Spain and so on! All I have to do is get myself there. And hey, I can do that! The last few days I’ve really felt like I don’t just need a vacation, but I need.. a body swap or something. I’m exhausting myself with the same drone-tone thoughts swimming in my head every day. It’s just so, incredibly, tedious.
Escapism has always been my forté. Luckily enough, it also happens to be my profession 
haha
you know what i think is funny. im pissed off that neeka never calls, writes, emails whatever but u do the same and im not peeved with u. its so weird trying to plan a wedding. trying to think of who i am gunna have as bridesmaids. neeka asked but she only ever calls me when she wants something and i got annoyed when i asked her for organising help and she never got back to me. i thought that if i got married id have you, renae and claire but all of u live no where near me. oh i just thought of someone, i want someone to help me like bridesmaids r ment to. and she would.
You’re not peeved with me because you can stay up to date by reading this, that’s the draw of it (it also allows me to vent and make some half-assed record of my days)..
Don’t you have girlfriends in Queensland? Girls from work, school? Or is it that bridesmaids are meant to be people you’ve known a long time? I would come to the wedding of course, but woah, I’d be so nervous to be in it! If I can do anything then let me know.. although I do understand what you mean in regards to the distance, we’re all stretched around the world. Wouldn’t it be cool for Claire to stay with you for a few days though, seeing as she’s only in Hobart?
I think originally I was meant to be Melody’s maid of honour (that’s the key bridesmaid right?) but they are supposed to be able to assist in the preparations,like you said, and I couldn’t do that physically.. or mentally! Hohoho!
Neeka might be distracted with something,or she might just be being a bitch. Doesn’t she kind of have a history of being a bitch..? And for sure, you need someone reliable and non-flaky to help you in your marriage endeavors… x